THE LURE OF THE SMALL TOWN
If I had to describe myself, I guess I would be forced to categorize myself as a “city girl”. That may be true in a sense. I was born in Vancouver, grew up in Richmond, Vancouver, Sydney (Australia) and have pretty much lived here my whole life except for a few years when I went to university out east in Ontario.
I like going out to eat, going out to clubs, shopping, driving around, going to the gym, and having many amenities nearby and accessible.
However, I can’t help but feel — at heart — that I’m secretly a small town girl inside. All my hopes and dreams in the future seem to revolve around a piece of land… running a bed and breakfast… having my own home and garden… things I just couldn’t do in the city.
I’ve spent a lot of time over the years thinking about how my life would change if I moved to a place like Tofino, Courtenay (Vancouver Island), Seaside (Oregon) or even a smaller city in New Zealand like Christ Church. One thing is for sure — as long as I can — I’m going to stay on the West Coast in Canada.
Yesterday, I found a few nice piece of land and some smaller homes in Tofino and Courtenay for very reasonable prices. We’re talking like $85,000 for a huge piece of land to develop on, or just over $100,000 for a small house with a backyard. Incredible prices compared to Vancouver, and still expected to come down.
My parents both came from very small farm-based communities. Same with my grandparents. And their grandparents. I do feel like it is in my blood, somewhere. The times I’ve been happiest in my life are the times I’ve spent away from the city.
I’d be much happier exercising in the morning by running on the beach or in the woods than in a concrete gym. Being outdoors every day. I’d much rather use the extra time in the day to cook wholesome meals from scratch instead of going out to eat. And I go shopping about twice a year anyway. I’m pretty sure I can either eliminate that from my life or just travel to a larger town to do that. Or sew my own clothes, like I used to in high school and university. I love gardening… and I would have a large garden like my parents and grandparents… and grow just about everything I needed to eat, minus the meat. Life just seems so much simpler.
The real question, is of course the job. Unless you’re working remotely, jobs for people in the video game industry are hard to come by. Is it time to get creative? Run your own business? Or a change of industry?
Then there’s a question of timing. Is it better to make a drastic change like this when you are young? Or when you are old?
There are definitely upsides and downsides to living in a small town. Maybe people who have lived in small towns or grew in small towns for significant amounts of time can comment on this.
So much to think about. Can a city girl ever become a small town girl, or is it impossible? I guess if it did happen I’d have to change my blog name 
Tags: Christ Church, Courtenay, decisions, Seaside, Small towns, thoughts, Tofino
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January 9th, 2009 at 1:00 pm
I have lived in 3 different towns in New Hampshire all my life and none of them are that large, in fact, I would consider them all “small towns”
Currently I live in Raymond, NH with a population of just over 10,000. So while its not extremely small, it is definitely no city. We do have things like a supermarket, but we also have local farms and old family run businesses. The thing about Raymond is it’s only an hour away from Boston. So I feel like I get the benefits of both the small town and the city.
Theres no reason a city girl can’t move to a small town and call it home. I’m sure you have experienced what its like to live, breath and board in small towns for a long time. The people are friendlier, the air is cleaner but the action is lacking. Some people are made for it and some just aren’t. I could never be a city boy, I love the wilderness, having a back yard of everlasting woods and quiet nights. I knew even back in highschool I would never move to a city.
In the end, if it’s what you really want in life then you will find yourself there eventually, even if it means sacrificing a job and a few friends. But don’t do it because you think you want it, do it because you know you want it.
January 9th, 2009 at 3:32 pm
I think Dan hit it bang on. I’m dating a girl from a small town, Terrace and she is super outdoorsy and initially hated moving to the city. There really was no choice as there wasn’t much exciting work in my field up there so she had to move here to be with me.
She now loves the city because it has many outdoor activities to offer. Something we are lucky to have here in Vancouver.
I personally could never permanently move to a small town. The smallest I’d be willing to move to is Kelowna and even then just for a few months in the summer. I plan to one day buy a vacation home there.
Pros: The pace of life is slower, people are friendlier, great for outdoor enthusiasts (atleast in BC), fresh air.
Cons: Lacks shopping, restaurants, major events etc… pretty much it lacks in variety and buzz.
I personally am a City boy and will always be one. I hope that helped a little bit
January 9th, 2009 at 4:11 pm
I know what you mean about the lure! I grew up in various rural/farm/smalltown areas in ontario, minnesota, and surrounding areas. Mostly in the middle of a big forest on my mom’s property with no electricity even! By the time I was a teenager I had visited many big cities and couldn’t wait to leave the boring rural life for the fun exciting city life. 10 years and several big cities later I think more and more about moving back to the country. I realize that I moved to vancouver 2 years ago entirely because of the nature surrounding it (hiking, camping, biking, snowboarding, exploring), not so much the city itself.. and every weekend my priority is to get outside and out of town. So why do I live in the city and pay a fortune and deal with rush hour traffic daily? Good work I guess. My plan is to advance my carreer as an IT consultant to the point that I can do most of my work remotely and live/travel wherever I want
The land/house prices you mentioned above make the rural life very very temping 
January 9th, 2009 at 4:50 pm
I don’t know if it counts one way or another, but whether it’s life in the city, or life in a small town, I think what’s important is finding and doing whatever makes you happy.
Basically, where we live is largely dependent on what we do. If you’re in finance (like myself) or the video game industry, well, you’d better get used to the city setting. Change that, and you can change your immediate scenery.
If it makes you feel any better, I’m constantly second-guessing what I’m doing and where I’m doing it. I think a lot of people do. It’s not that I’m unhappy, I’m very happy, it’s just that the world has a lot more to offer than the recipe we buy and sell every day. I came real close to permanently changing my own settings after getting pretty damn comfortable in the Cyclades a year ago, and I may still change course one day, but I’m struck with this overbearing feeling of responsibility to any children I may end up having one day – so I stay in the city and build the bank account.
Anyways, cliché are horrible, but they’re clichés because they’re the truth. At the end of the day, ‘Home’ really is where the heart is – which is most often wherever the people you love are.
But keep in mind too some insight from author Paulo Coelho
“What’s the world’s greatest lie?”
“It’s this: that at a certain point in our lives, we lost control of what’s happening to us, and our lives become controlled by fate. That’s the world’s greatest lie.”
January 9th, 2009 at 5:23 pm
Happy New Year!
Lots of good insight in the above comments. I think the bottom line is about being happy.
I moved to the Kootenays over 10 years ago and my reason was to find a simpler way of life.
When I need a dose of the city, I just go and have some fun.
You’re young and have the benefit of time….you can do just about anything you set your mind to. It may seem risky to pick up and move but if you research some potential locations and lay the ground work you can make a smooth transition to a new setting.
Sounds like some soul searching road trips are in your future;)
January 9th, 2009 at 8:29 pm
“Is it better to make a drastic change like this when you are young? Or when you are old?”
There’s no better time like the present. As somebody who’s lived in metropolises and tiny villages (and somebody who owns some land on Pender Island) in several different countries, I’d urge you to give it a try as soon as you can. And, in my experience, it’s not really as drastic as one might think. We humans are highly adaptable.
Here’s how I often look at relocation decisions: what’s the worst that can happen?
The answer is usually, “we lose a little money and move somewhere else”.
January 10th, 2009 at 3:25 am
I have to put my chip in for city living… I was born in Richmond but spent the vast majority of my life in a suffocatingly dull bedroom community – basically if you didn’t have a car (and a job elsewhere to pay for it), you were STUCK. Very few people I could relate to in that town – it was populated mainly with brand new families with tiny children, or old retirees waiting for the inevitable.
Just about all of the friends I’ve made and life-lived has been out in the metropolitan areas of Vancouver; I feed on the energy that comes from living in downtown. It’s odd to say but when it got dark in my “home” town, you’d be hard pressed to find any signs of life, save for a few lit windows, some flickering with the blue glow of TVs. Here there’s always people out walking dogs or going somewhere.
I don’t know what I’ll be thinking 40-50 years from now, but I’ve personally had my lifetime fill of the tiny backwater town isolated from everything else.
To live out away from it all out there will mean you’ll have to adapt to their terms of living, including what you do for a living. Which is easier to do when retired, as you won’t have to try and ask for a job at the family-run grocery shop.
There is also the part of “familiarity breeds contempt.” There are so many people in downtown, that it’s hard to be running into the ‘awful neighbours’ all the time; when I was growing up, there was always having to put up with lousy/stupid/asshole neighbours for years until they moved away from next door. Small towns will mean seeing the same people every day, all the time – which is fine for some people. But those same people will make a fuss if you do something out of the ordinary.
Of course, this is just me rambling on about a cooling bitterness I’ve had for my old ‘home’ town.
January 10th, 2009 at 9:19 am
I know loads of people who got out of the city. They assessed their life, asked themselves, “Is this what I want?” answered, “No” and got out of the city. They all made the move in their 30s. Everybody’s rockin’. As for me, I like being within an hour of Dope City.
January 10th, 2009 at 9:10 pm
Darren, I’m going to challenge your “no time like the present’ statement on this one. While usually good advice, I agree with ‘Vancityguy’ here. For someone who works for EA (or a finance co.), I have a hard time imagining them moving to a small town. However, in the future, ie retirement, I can definitely see the lure of, for example and getting bit personal here, a small town in the Bitteroot Valley, Montana) being a nice change of pace and a great place to SETTLE.
January 11th, 2009 at 11:04 am
It’s possible to still live in a small town and work in the city, a lot of people commute from the Sunshine Coast to Vancouver, it’s only a 40min ferry ride. I lived there for a bit and loved it, they are all great little communities, especiually Gibsons. Victoria has Sooke as an equivalent.
I’ve spent a ton of time in small towns and my work will probably keep me in them, which I like. Big cities are always close enough for visits. Infact if I had to choose a place to settle and stay I’d be content with places like Sooke, Tofino, Smithers, Terrace, Fernie, the Queen Charlottes (although very remote), or the Sunshine Coast. There are tons of cool small mountain or coastal towns and they have everything you need. They’re really unique and have a real sense of community too. The but, and it is a big BUT, is whether or not your better half can hack it in those places, I don’t think anyone that isn’t prepared for it would be too happy about it at all.
January 11th, 2009 at 6:53 pm
can i open the B&B with you?! it’s always been my dream to have my own B&B in a pretty place, where everything is homemade and cozy!
i love the idea of living in a small town and doing everything on your own piece of land, but i know i just love the idea. there are parts of city life that i feel i haven’t fully enjoyed and gotten tired of yet, so for now i am still a city girl. for me, it’s about finding the perfect balance – i miss running outdoors, for example, but that’s something i’m hoping i will rediscover when i move to somewhere warm. i don’t love toronto as the city i want to live in, but i know city life is what i want. are you tired of your city life yet?
January 12th, 2009 at 8:03 am
Growing up in New York City my whole life has led me to a similar feeling; part of me always wanted to spend a year in the mountain in a Buddhist temple or something. Even when I was younger, books like “Hatchet” or “Into the Wild” have always rung a bell from within.
The fact that snowboarding has become a big part of my life has also prompted thoughts of moving out to Colorado (or some other big ski town),just to be an outdoors guy for the rest of my days (Doug Coombs’ inception of Valdez Heli-Ski Guides is a premier example, I believe Shawn farmer is on a similar boat as well).
But being from the city and ‘on the fast lane’ career-wise affords a certain way of life that will no doubt be tough to leave behind. Who knows… maybe one day the opportunity will present itself to reconnect with nature and find that “moment of zen” in a way that makes the transition smooth.
January 12th, 2009 at 8:07 am
I say there’s no time like the present. =) Believe it or not, time is always on your side. You could easily do it now or you could wait later and still do it. I say line up some consulting work that you could from home (look for work assignments originated in the U.S., we do a lot of offshoring) and take the plunge. The worse that can happen is you don’t like it and move back to the city… but hey, that’s better than not ever having the experience.
January 12th, 2009 at 1:52 pm
We’re human and we’ve evolved with nature and shit so it’s only human to want to be with nature. You might be envisioning that great life but you’ll miss all the amenities of the city life.
January 12th, 2009 at 2:04 pm
I love spending time with nature and that’s one of the reasons why I head to the mountains as much as I can during weekends.
It’s rather hard to live in the country when you’re working in the high tech sector. I’ve thought about moving to a small town in BC but being an electrical engineer working in a high tech field I don’t think it can be done.
January 12th, 2009 at 11:08 pm
I grew up on a gulf island and lived as a boardbum in the Kootneys for a decade. I know the lure of the small town/rural life but I have to warn you it can be really hard to make a go of it. It’s not all rainbows and homemade granola.
Economically it can be really tough to find a job. Lots of areas have one main area of employment so whole communities fortunes can change and effect everyone.
Rural living pretty much requires allot of driving to and from places distances are usually far and no transit. When the power goes out for days when it goes out.
Rednecks,jerks and dirt bags live in these areas as well but it’s allot harder to ignore them. When you go “into town”everyone want to know your business but to be a “local” it takes a decade or two. Looking for Romance? “the odds are good but goods are odd”.
If kids are in the picture you have to think where are the kids going to go to school? Many small town and rural schools have been declining. I think it can be really hard when kids are in the picture for rural small town/living.
One thing that I know many people find frustrating is not being able to get “supplies” when you want. If you’re working on a project you can’t just run to a store and pic it up. Many times you just won’t be able to find things locally. This is more of an issue with more rural areas but still effects things from car parts (you’ll need a beat up truck) to water colours.
You get used to it but sometimes it just feels like wasting time when you can’t get that bit you need now.
I don’t think rural living is something that you can judge until you live it your self. You’re young and there may never have been a better time to work remotely and you probably have the skills to do it.
You don’t have to move away forever the city isn’t going anywhere it’ll still be here if you ever want to come back.
January 13th, 2009 at 2:22 pm
There’s no reason you can’t be creative and start a B&B in an urban area. Part of the idea of reclaiming neighborhood or “small town” charm in urban society is doing things like this in a creative way.
January 15th, 2009 at 4:16 pm
Dan, I think your last sentence there is very poignant. It’s something that I’m so scared of doing… and I think I want it but I don’t know that I want it just yet. Perhaps I should wait until the day I’m sure and I really know I want it.
UD, you’re right about Vancouver. We have the very rare opportunity here to experience nature and live in the city at the same time. Still, there’s something that still yearns instead me for a little more of the wilderness
I knew you’d be a true blue city boy and that makes sense, and it’s who you are! I guess I still need to figure that out.
josh, so neat that your mom’s property didn’t even have electricity. I once stayed for a summer in a friend’s cabin with only solar electricity and what an experience it was! So much nature, no disturbances.. and less reliance on electricity and appliances. It’s so peaceful. But I hear ya. Living in the city we are pretty much weekend warriors, and I keep asking myself, why do I keep fighting to get out of the city every weekend? Why not just live where I want to play?
vancityguy, I know what you mean. I wish sometimes that my career didn’t depend so much on where I live. But I’m open to changing careers one day if that means that I can live where I am happy. The problem is when you complicate things with a significant other or a family… then you’re really dependent on each other and the ability to work and live in the same place. I think a lot of people second guess things too. Thanks for the last quote there. That means a lot to me.
Lovewine, Happy New Year to you too! Kudos to you for getting out somewhere you wanted to be. I’m jealous! Time… time is such a blessing and a curse. So is being young. I think soul searching is definitely in order.
Darren, wow thanks so much for dropping by, it is truly an honour! Your sentiments echo the same that I heard in business school.. “take risks when you are young and when you don’t have any responsibilities.’ That’s a good way to think about it though, “What’s the worst that can happen?”. Thanks!
Mike, I guess that’s where we differ… for me the isolation aspect seems attractive
Mr. Beer N Hockey, interesting that everyone made the move in their 30s. I wonder what that turned out to be the change decade?
Karl, retirement seems too far away for me
I feel like I could use that happiness and peace in my live now..
max, I think that sounds like the best of both worlds for sure. But the commute… that eats away at time, and time is so precious to me! I’m envious of your work though.. that’s why I ask you about it all the time. If I could spend my days roaming the wilderness then I doubt I’d have the cabin fever I have now.
mango, YES! Let’s open a bed and breakfast together. It’s always been my dream too. You can make the cookies, and I’ll sew the curtains!
Seriously. let’s think about it! 
I’m sure that two business school girls can make it work. The question is, are you willing to move back to the west coast? 
Tim Z., I know what you mean about a year in the mountains or a temple. That would be amazing. It is hard to leave the fast life behind, for sure, but I think once you do you’ll never look back
Liz, thanks for stopping by
Consulting work is a great idea. I’d definitely rather try to make the move than not make the move at all, even if I fail.
Mr. Skeets, at first I think I would miss them, but I think over time I’d be alright without them
Tawcan, I’m just tired of being a weekend warrior! Shame our jobs are making this difficult for us.
JT, I’d love to be a boardbum for a year or so. I think that would be a great experience. But you’re right, there are a lot of downsides to it too. I don’t think my plan is ever to move away forever, but just for a while.
vxla, a B&B in an urban area is difficult because housing costs are SO high, especially in Vancouver. It would be quite difficult to turn a profit.
If it was an option, I definitely would though!
November 23rd, 2009 at 11:01 pm
Wow, this was a really quality post. In hypothesis I’d like to compose like this too – taking time and real effort to make a good article… but what can I say… I stall a lot and never seem to get something done.