THE GOOD INGREDIENTS
When it comes to cooking, I have a few rules I try to adhere to as best I can. Cook with fresh, organic ingredients. Cook with high quality ingredients. Cook for small-portioned serving. And always have leftovers 
If you cook with good ingredients, what you produce will almost infallibly be good as well.
Lately, I’ve been thinking more and more about how this applies to life.
As part of my growing up and maturing process, I’ve been starting to realize that using the good ingredients in my life and lifestyle as well are important to living a good life. I’m sure many of you have realized this a long, long time ago… but I’m still just learning 
People. What’s life without the people we love and respect around us? I’ve been realizing more and more how important it is to surround ourselves with good people. People who are honest, full of life, kind, and who know how to smile and laugh. People who keep their word, people who say the same things to your face that they say behind your back, and people who you can just be yourself around.
One of my friends recently commented on how she is friends with all these people from elementary school and high school, even though they are very different people now than when they first met. Sometimes we have to learn to say “no” and say goodbye to “friends” who aren’t actually compatible with us anymore. Sometimes we have to reach out and become closer with the people who really understand us and who care about us. This is a good thing. We can’t be friends with everyone. We have to pick the people we keep close to us carefully. There’s only so much time and if you try to spend all your time with too many people, you’ll lose everyone.
I know myself really well, and I’m finally starting to see more clearly the people that I care about and am most compatible with. And I’m spending less of my time around people who detract from my life and bring me down, and more time with the people who make my life better and add something to my world.
Lifestyle. I think the best way to describe this is “opportunity cost”. Vancity Guy would understand this. There’s so many activities, hobbies, and things about life that I love. And I want to do everything. But I’m starting to realize I can’t do everything. Surfing, snowboarding and hockey are the good things in life, for me. These need to stay in my life. But I need to start saying “no” to other activities that just make me feel overwhelmed because I don’t have enough time. There’s not enough time or money for me to do it all, and I’m feeling stretched thin on both fronts.
Woodworking, yoga, decorating, sewing, cooking, photography, entrepreneurship, web design, graphics, swimming, ballroom dancing, singing, building computers, forums, blogging, hiking, biking, basketball…
This part of my life I need the most help with… how do I say “no” to all the activities and other things I want to do?
Money. Closely tied to lifestyle. It’s hard to ever be truly relaxed and happy with debt on our shoulders. And so, I’m making a big, bold push to get out of it. I’ve been tracking all my expenses over the past month, and will continue to do so. It’s interesting and not surprising at all that I’ve been spending a ton of money on snowboarding and surfing. I’ve got a budget for myself that’s reasonable and not too strict, that should help me pay down my student loans and my credit card fast. I’m incredibly ashamed to admit that I have debt on my blog, out in public… but maybe it will help me attack it faster. I know I’ll sleep better at night when I can start saving instead of paying interest.
Respect. I’ve been realizing that a huge piece of the puzzle for me is respect. I’ve been trying really hard to be competely honest and open with all my friends, coworkers, family etc about everything. I’m an extremely honest person, and I absolutely hate lying. But there’s a difference between being honest and keeping things from people. I’ve been trying hard to be upfront and honest with friends… telling them when I am upset right off the bat, instead of talking behind their backs. I’m always honest and blunt at work, even when I should probably just keep my mouth shut and be a “yes woman”. I think the highest form of respect you can show someone is being honest with them.
Respect also applies to other parts of life, like respecting the earth, etc. I won’t get into it too much because there are far more environmentally friendly people than myself… but I will say I try my best whenever possible to be as respectful as possible to the environment.
Health. This is the part of my life I’m making the most improvements on, and I hope to continue to do so. I’ve been going to the gym just about every day for the past 3 weeks and I’ve been feeling a lot better about myself. Getting in shape is going to improve many aspects of my life. I want my abs back too! I’ve also been cooking more, eating healthier, and getting more sleep. This has made a huge impact on my happiness. Now I just need to get a Reiki treatment from Miss Lindsay.
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This turned into a lot longer blog post than I had intended. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I think it is important to keep in mind the good and important things in life and focus on what makes us and the people we love happy. And not worrying in situations when we can’t do anything to change the outcome.
I’d love it if you could share what makes YOU happy and how you keep yourself centered and happy.
In other news, the Canucks have a big game tonight and I could not be more excited. I hope they push the series up 3-1 tonight, even though I heard Sami Salo won’t be back. I think they shook off the cobwebs in the last game, and they could really take it to the Hawks tonight. I hope they show the 3 H’s… Hussle, Heart, and Hunger!
GO CANUCKS GO!
Tags: happiness, health, heart, ingredients
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May 7th, 2009 at 12:08 pm
I totally follow your reasoning.
Cooking with good ingredients makes the food better. Living with good friends makes life better.
As for debt, I totally understand and wish you the best of luck in paying it all off! I’ve got about 2 months left on my basic debt, and after that, more money into savings!
Good luck and (go Canucks go!)
May 7th, 2009 at 1:20 pm
Hey Allie – your bit about people really hit home. As you know I went through a bit of a rough patch a couple weeks ago and had to realize that it’s okay to lose ‘friends’. It was great to read someone else’s perspective about it because it only solidifies my decision for cutting someone out.
I also have to say a big DITTO regarding your lifestyle section. There is so much I want to do out there, so much I want to get my hands into but you have to draw the line somewhere. It’s so easy to get caught up in it all!
Anyway….. Go go Canucks!
May 7th, 2009 at 4:50 pm
Honesty is something that needs to be given with tact and respect. I’ve heard a saying that goes something like… “honesty is only effective when the listener can handle it”.
Enjoy reading your blog. Keep up the good work!
May 7th, 2009 at 6:57 pm
I’m with you on that. It’s good to surround yourself and stay close to friends that care about you. I must keep in mind that friends can drift away, and you must cling to those who are good for your heart and soul.
Love your blog, and go Canucks, go!
May 7th, 2009 at 7:30 pm
Great post Allie! Definitely surrounding yourself with good people is key and it’s good to put your debt in the open and be honest…make you work harder to get rid of it.
May 7th, 2009 at 10:00 pm
Lovely post, Allie. That was a real feel good read, I really enjoyed it. Thanks for sharing. Shame about the Nuckers tonight
May 8th, 2009 at 4:37 am
Love the ingredients metaphor. You almost sound like a modern-day Ayn Rand, albeit a bit more laid back. What makes me happy? Simple but perfect moments in an [otherwise] imperfect existence. Sounds like you got plenty of those in your life =D
May 8th, 2009 at 6:06 am
One thing I try to do every night is to have half an hour to myself, usually just before going to bed, to just relax, watch some tv, read a book or reflect on the day’s events. I find this gives me much better perspective of the important things in life on a day to day basis, and its hard if not impossible to do if you’re constantly surrounded by people.
ps: canucks are going down
May 8th, 2009 at 8:35 am
As many before me have already said, this was a nice post with the bonus of food-photos.
It’s pretty good to have a sort of list-checking or even a list-making evaluation of how you’re doing with your life once in a while. Perspective helps so much in realizing what your priorities really are, and reduces the formerly large worries to their proper ‘meh’ size.
What keeps me happy is probably my now-not-so-new relaxed stance in how I go about things; I rarely get upset or worried about things outside of my control anymore. Also it helps a lot to remind myself (in stressful situations) that all pain is temporary; its inevitable that I’ll be doing something I enjoy afterwards (be it snowboarding, art, games, etc). That, and a few billion years hence, no one will care what troubles we have now, as the dying sun devours the earth.
May 8th, 2009 at 10:27 am
Sounds like you’ve got a good head on your shoulders and I wish I had been this insightful when I was younger!! Now at the ripe old age of 49 I pretty much have it together and am happy and more importantly content with my life. Happiness cannot be sustained for long periods of time but contentment is all you really need.
I’ve got 2 great friends which I can count on come hell or high water. They are the ones that I’ve grown with. I have many other friends, some from grade school, but they’re not as close.
It’s really important to be true to yourself, treat others as you would want to be treated and be honest. Only by being honest will you really find the people that really mean something to you.
Keep up the great work!
May 8th, 2009 at 9:15 pm
thanks for the link Allie!
May 9th, 2009 at 3:31 pm
Thanks for this wonderful post – we all need to be reminded once in a while to stay centred.
Being a Taurus, I love food so good organic food makes me feel happy, as well as indulgent treats once in a while. And what’s good food without awesome family and friends to share it with? I love my horse, so riding regularly is important. Part of the reason why I also started my blog was to share a piece of the things that I love with an audience, and if by doing so I could have brightened up someone’s day, I gain tremendous satisfaction out of it.
Ultimately, I think being grateful for what you have, enjoying each day as it comes, and giving more than you receive are the keys to long lasting happiness.
May 11th, 2009 at 2:51 pm
I enjoyed reading your post here, very thoughtful. It hits home when you point out all the hobbies you want to participate in but find yourself being stretched thin. There are so many things in my life as well that I want to partake in but there’s just not enough time in the week. Not to mention I have a 7 year old daughter and newborn son, I find myself stressing out because I don’t get out as much anymore.
However, I have also come to terms with it over the past few weeks. Like you mentioned, there are certain hobbies that are “a must” in life. I also need snowboarding, web design and home improvement things. However I don’t want to give up the multiple other activities such as photography, illustration, skateboarding, bike riding, hiking, camping, video games (haha), cooking, etc etc.
What I have realized is that as long as you keep those few things you really wish to do in your life happiness is there anyways. The other things, while fun, are nothing to stress about. Im in no rush to be a professional photographer, but I do enjoy taking nice pictures. I see no reason to change that and look forward to them even more when I don’t worry about getting them. This type of thinking allows me to spend more enjoyable and important time with Brie and my kids that I may never get back. I guess thats why they call them hobbies.
Uhm.. sorry for the long comment
May 12th, 2009 at 6:03 am
Great post, the friends thing is dead on. At some point you spend all of your energy just trying to put in face time with friends and family and have nothing left for actually living.
My ingredients for happiness:
1. Don’t be afraid to walk away from people, friends or family, who consistently don’t treat you right. Life’s too short to spend around people who will only make you unhappy.
2. Don’t live life as a race, take time to enjoy the ride. Dying with the most toys or the best career or whatever else you sacrificed for doesn’t make you the winner. You’re still just as dead as the next guy.
3. Hold on to your passions and find a way to keep them in your life, even if you have to be alone when you’re enjoying them. The saddest people I know have no passion for life and just sort of go through the motions from day to day.
4. Learn to identify what matters and what doesn’t. Too many people get way too worked up about things that just aren’t important in the grand scheme of things.
5. Get and stay out of debt, being out of debt is freedom.
6. Don’t ever lose appreciation for the natural wonder in the world. Nothing seems to make me happy like hiking along a mountain stream or walking through a redwood grove. Nothing man-made has ever given me that real of joy.
7. Travel.
8. Keep variety in your life. Mix things up once in awhile. New experiences slow things down and keep us feeling alive.
The best advice I ever received was from some bartender at a dingy saloon in Deadwood, South Dakota. And all he said was..”live f-ing life!”
Love the blog. Makes me wish I had uprooted and moved west like I had originally planned. People in the midwest are way too ambivalent about everything (except drinking beer) for my taste.
July 5th, 2010 at 11:19 pm
Hi Allie,
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, reflections and insights on your blog – you’ve got a lot of courage as well as wisdom, girl! As for the being honest and open with your friends part – I’ve learned that you can share different parts of yourself with different people, and that’s okay because it’s still part of your whole, multifaceted, complex self . . .I hope that makes sense. In in my mid-30′s now, but am totally loving this social media world out there, and continuing to learn from others. So thank-you again, Allie!
July 5th, 2010 at 11:25 pm
Sorry I forgot to answer your question – hmmmm happiness?
1. Being real with yourself
2. Perceiving reality objectively
3. Accepting the yourself, others, the world for what it IS
4. Having someone to love, something to do, and something to look forward to.
5. Taking good care of yourself so you can give to others.
6. Being passionate and behaving with integrity in your work and play.
7. Continual learning, seeing things from many perspectives.
8. Accept you can’t do everything AT THE SAME TIME
9. A handful of “your go-to-people” that get you, support and love you for who you are
10. A sense of humour!!!!