It’s been a while since I’ve made a post on the food/dessert I’ve been cooking and making… and I’ve been re-inspired by one of my new friends, Amy, and a long-time uni friend, Sandy… both of whom have been cooking up some delicious concoctions on their blogs. If you’ve missed my other food posts and recipes, just click here to go back and read them!

When I was younger, I looked forward to birthdays and special occasions almost solely because of my mom’s tiramisu. Now — this is no normal tiramisu. For those of you hardcore tiramisu lovers who are into the traditional dessert, this is not for you. However, if you’re like me… and you love cheesecake, but you also kinda like tiramisu… this is the recipe for you.

It’s fluffy, rich, cheesy, not-to-sweet, and yes, chocolatey with coffee aromas and flavours. And of course a little booze thrown in for good measure. This is my mom’s secret recipe… she’s been making it for ages, and I’ve gotten her to cough it up a few years ago and have been making it every few months since then. I’ve changed it up a bit by adding more vanilla and different liqueurs.

Mom’s Secret Delicious Best Tiramisu Cheesecake Recipe

2 8-oz packages light/fat free sour cream
2 8-oz packages cream cheese
2/3 cup sugar (I like to put in half of this because I don’t like it too sweet)
3 Tablespoons milk
1-3 teaspoons vanilla (to taste)
1/2 cup strong coffee (preferably freshly brewed, or you can get it from Starbucks or Timmy’s)
2 Tbsp Kahlua
1 Tbsp coffee liqueur (optional, such as Van Gogh Espresso)
1 Tbsp creme de cacao/chocolate liqueur (optional!)
3 boxes of ladyfingers (biscuits, you can find these at Whole Foods or an Italian bakery… some grocery stores carry these, usually in the cookie aisle)
Semi-sweet or bittersweet good quality dark chocolate for shaving

1. Combine the sour cream, cream cheese, sugar, milk, and one teaspoon of vanilla in a large bowl. Beat with an electric mixer on high until smooth and airy. Taste the mixture to make sure you like it. Adjust sweetness accordingly.

2. Combine the coffee, Kahlua, coffee/chocolate liqueurs (optional), and 1-2 teaspoons of vanilla (to taste) in a small cup. Have a tiny taste and adjust accordingly. Add more coffee and coffee liqueur if you like more of a coffee flavour. Add more vanilla and chocolate liqueur if you like more of a sweet chocolately flavour.

3. If you have large lady fingers, split them in half. If you have small ones, then simply shave off the non-sugared side with a knife. Layer these in a dish cut-side up. Use a pastry brush or just spoon the coffee mixture on to the ladyfingers.

4. Smooth a third of the cream cheese mixture on top of the ladyfingers, and flatten.

5. Keep repeating until gone, layering the ladyfingers, brushing with coffee mixture, and layering the cream cheese mixture. Typically I end up with three layers of ladyfingers and 3 layers of cream cheese, with the cream cheese mixture at the very top.

6. Using a grater or similar tool, shave the chocolate over generously to cover. Cover with saran wrap, and make sure you refrigerate for at least 12 hours, preferably 24 hours.

ENJOY!

Bear with me. This is going to be a very personal post.

Now that I’m 25, and have been in a long-term relationship for 3 years with Allan, I’m getting sick of people asking me if I want to get married and have kids.
To be honest, it’s a totally intimidating idea. My answer is always the same: Yes, I want to get married eventually but not now, and I’m pretty sure I never want to have kids.

The look is always the same, too. Utter shock and surprise. Is it really that bad that I don’t want to have children? Does that make me some kind of cold-hearted robot?

Yes, Allan and I have talked about marriage… but we both want to wait for the right time. We’re both in the middle of our careers and we want to pay off some debt before we start a new life together. Also – to me marriage is about making a commitment and working at it no matter what happens. It’s a big deal. 3-5 years away would be a good timeline. I’ve seen a lot of couples jump into it too early and end up unhappy. Basically, I’m not in any rush. I’m still young. I love him, and I love our life together right now.

Having kids is a whole new different ballgame. I like our lifestyle. I love being able to go surf and snowboard and go on trips whenever we want. Is this selfish?  I love being able to go out during the week or the weekend and not have to worry about a babysitter. I can see the attraction behind having little “you”’s running around… little surfers and snowboarders and someone to take care of. But I don’t think living vicariously through them, wanting to have clones of yourself, or having kids just to fill a gap in your relationship are the right reasons to have children. What are the right reasons, anyway?

We both want to keep working full-time jobs in the video game industry. I can’t imagine having a child and not staying home with them. I feel like it would be difficult to provide my children with the type of life I’d want them to have. How could we possibly have kids and pay for education AND still go out and do all the activities we love to do. It’s a big sacrifice.

I know several couples who have decided not to have children and they are now in their 50s and they are living it up! They have no regrets (as far as I can tell from talking to them) and they are incredibly happy with each other. And totally not stressed compared to the parents I know.

Still – a lot of people say having kids is the best thing that has ever happened to them. Sometimes I wonder who they are trying to convince… me, or themselves? And a lot of people say NOT having kids is the best thing that has ever happened to them! So confusing.

So, it’s out there now, on my very public blog. Dear Mom: Don’t kill me.

So, what do you think? Am I a bad person for not wanting to have kids and get married right away? Is this an age thing where I’ll change my mind later (I doubt it)? Are you a parent? Was it worth it? Do you want kids? If so – why? If not – why not?