We’re married!

Our wedding was by far the best day of my life. It went by in a blur, despite trying to savour every magical moment. I love Allan with all my heart and I am so happy to have committed to spend the rest of our lives together.

Our wedding took place in the Tofino/Ucluelet area on the very west coast of Vancouver Island… probably our favourite place in the whole world. The best part was seeing all our family and friends from all over the world. It makes me realize how important these people are to me, that they would come all the way out there for us. When we get back, my goal is to spend even more time with our family and friends to show them how much they mean to me.

For those of you wondering, everything went without a hitch! I can’t believe it. A year and a half of planning, so much D-I-Y projects that could have gone wrong, and an incredibly tight schedule that didn’t leave any room for errors… but it all managed to somehow work out. I can’t wait to share all the details with you! The wedding dress, the venue, the decor, the food, the cake, and more!

Even though it was nearly 2 weeks ago, Allan and I are still glowing from the wedding. I keep remembering special little moments. I want to be able to remember them forever and I’m afraid I will forgot. Hopefully I can blog with photos and memories soon so I’ll have them forever documented

We’re currently on our 4 week honeymoon in Europe on a cruise with very limited internet access, so unfortunately we haven’t had much time to send updates on our wedding and the honeymoon… but expect some coming soon!

We’ve already traveled to Amsterdam, Copenhagen, Berlin, St. Petersburg (Russia) and soon to be arriving in Stockholm, Sweden! We can’t wait.

Thanks to all of my blog and Twitter followers for bearing with me over the last year and a half as it’s been nothing but weddings on here (and probably still will be for a little while as I catch up on posts)… when we get back we are looking forward to sharing lots of new adventures and activities with you.

From Russia with love,

Allie

Bear with me. This is going to be a very personal post.

Now that I’m 25, and have been in a long-term relationship for 3 years with Allan, I’m getting sick of people asking me if I want to get married and have kids.
To be honest, it’s a totally intimidating idea. My answer is always the same: Yes, I want to get married eventually but not now, and I’m pretty sure I never want to have kids.

The look is always the same, too. Utter shock and surprise. Is it really that bad that I don’t want to have children? Does that make me some kind of cold-hearted robot?

Yes, Allan and I have talked about marriage… but we both want to wait for the right time. We’re both in the middle of our careers and we want to pay off some debt before we start a new life together. Also – to me marriage is about making a commitment and working at it no matter what happens. It’s a big deal. 3-5 years away would be a good timeline. I’ve seen a lot of couples jump into it too early and end up unhappy. Basically, I’m not in any rush. I’m still young. I love him, and I love our life together right now.

Having kids is a whole new different ballgame. I like our lifestyle. I love being able to go surf and snowboard and go on trips whenever we want. Is this selfish?  I love being able to go out during the week or the weekend and not have to worry about a babysitter. I can see the attraction behind having little “you”’s running around… little surfers and snowboarders and someone to take care of. But I don’t think living vicariously through them, wanting to have clones of yourself, or having kids just to fill a gap in your relationship are the right reasons to have children. What are the right reasons, anyway?

We both want to keep working full-time jobs in the video game industry. I can’t imagine having a child and not staying home with them. I feel like it would be difficult to provide my children with the type of life I’d want them to have. How could we possibly have kids and pay for education AND still go out and do all the activities we love to do. It’s a big sacrifice.

I know several couples who have decided not to have children and they are now in their 50s and they are living it up! They have no regrets (as far as I can tell from talking to them) and they are incredibly happy with each other. And totally not stressed compared to the parents I know.

Still – a lot of people say having kids is the best thing that has ever happened to them. Sometimes I wonder who they are trying to convince… me, or themselves? And a lot of people say NOT having kids is the best thing that has ever happened to them! So confusing.

So, it’s out there now, on my very public blog. Dear Mom: Don’t kill me.

So, what do you think? Am I a bad person for not wanting to have kids and get married right away? Is this an age thing where I’ll change my mind later (I doubt it)? Are you a parent? Was it worth it? Do you want kids? If so – why? If not – why not?