Scroll down to see the yoga contest – I’m giving away THIRTY DAYS (one month!) of free yoga.

I thought I’d spend a little bit of time today honouring about some really amazing people in my life. Some really amazing women. They are friends, mentors, colleagues, classmates… and they are all women that I look up to. I spend way too much time on this blog talking about myself, and not thanking or talking enough about the people that made me who I am today.

KIM S – I don’t know where I would be without Kim. Kim has been my best friend since we were 7 years old and happened to live on the same street. My dad and I went over to welcome them to the neighbourhood with a purple balloon with Kim’s name on it, and well, I guess we just went from there.

Kim is an incredible women and a great friend. Kim is the same age as me, and at 25 she has already opened her first business – a hot yoga studio. What I most admire about Kim is that she had a dream and she made it happen. She’s been in love with yoga ever since it changed her life and her arthritis in her back, doing years of training as a yoga student and then years of training as a yoga instructor. She took it all on herself: finding and leasing the property, drawing up the business plans, managing the contractors to do the renovations, handling the marketing, hiring of new employees and launching the business. It’s now a thriving successful hot yoga studio (Moksha Yoga Vancouver).

Kim has also been an inspiration to me as an athlete. In high school we played competitively on the junior and senior basketball teams for several years together… she always encouraged me to play hard and practice more. Kim went on to play varsity basketball at McGill. She’s one of the best athletes I know – her determination and never-give-up attitude sparks any team she plays on.

More importantly, I can honestly say that Kim has had the single most impact on who I am as a person toady. Several years ago I sat down with her and she opened my eyes to the kind of person I was, and the kind of person I should be. I changed my outlook on life because of her and I wanted to become a better person. I can never thank Kim enough for inspiring me to make change in my life… and I know my friends, Allan, my parents, and even my career have benefited from her advice to me. She has always been able to give me practical advice and tell me the hard truth about myself. She is always there when I need her. Thank you Kim. I know we’ll be lifelong friends.

CHRISTIE G – Christie and I have been best friends since she moved to Canada from England in the middle of elementary school. With her wacky British fashions and her quirky sense of humour, I knew I wanted to be friends with her when she first walked into the school. Christie has always moved around, from Hong Kong to England to France… but no matter how many years or even days she is in Vancouver, we resume our friendship right where it left off and stayed in touch.

Christie is another one of my friends who has been able to follow their dreams… she knew she wanted to be involved in the fashion world and pursued those interests throughout high school university, and in her first few jobs. She did modeling in London and Hong Kong. She started out as a purchaser at a prominent department stores in London (Browns, Matches), and then her career exploded as she worked at the high fashion house of Mulberry, and now… premier fashion website Net-A-Porter.com. I couldn’t be more impressed with her ability to go after what she wants and get it. I’m pretty sure in a few years she’ll have her own fashion house or something.

Christie and I have been through a lot of tears and laughter, and she’s probably influenced my “coming of age” more than anyone. From teaching me about boys, how to kiss, school dances, men’s magazines, and all sorts of other hilarious experiences… she and I have been through some pretty funny times. But she’s always been someone I can call or talk to about my problems and she’ll always give me practical advice. So thank you Christie, for all your advice and for all the laughs.

NIKI T – Niki is someone I met in university, whom I always looked up to. We’re not best friends, but I’ve always seen her as a close friend, and sensed that we could grow into really great friends one day. I think more than anything I’ve always seen her as a role model, and I think she’s a great person to talk about in this post because she’s quite inspirational.

Niki and I first got to know each other in university when working on a business project with a few other classmates in our first two years of school. We all got quite close over the process, with long nights, fights, and the stress of making it to the championships of the business competition and doing many, many presentations. We both got into business school after that and ended up in the same class “section” (you stay in your section for almost all your classes for the first year). We ended up on many projects together, were on the same inner tube water polo team, and spent a couple summers together at her cabin and went on many double dates.

Her father is actually an extremely famous author, and despite having access to what I’ll loosely call “fame and fortune” (that’s a terrible way to put it, sorry Niki), she’s one of the most down to earth people I know. She works her butt off and does not take anything for granted. And ridiculously modest. Niki is the kind of woman that is going to end up as Prime Minister of Canada… I know it’s a potential aspiration for her, and I know if she ever decides to go for it that she’ll be able to do it. She speaks with confidence, makes friends effortlessly, has great fashion sense, is incredibly perceptive, and has a great sense of humour. She’s also very, very smart.

Niki got hired out of university as a consultant for Accenture. This is a very tough position to get and she’s already managed to make a big impact even at a company of that size. On a leave from Accenture, Niki is now working as an Associate Director of the World Economic Forum in Geneva, Switzerland. Yes, she is 26 years old and is an Associate Director. CRAZY! Niki lives and works in Geneva with her boyfriend, Moritz who is also a very good friend of mine. Throughout my adult years, Niki and Moritz have always been wonderful friends and I’ve loved going on double dates with them. Niki is also a fashionista, an accomplished singer (she tried out for Canadian Idol, and has a band in Toronto), is an avid skier and surfer, and is always up for new adventures. Oh yeah, and she hob nobs with people like Stephen Harper.

Despite the fact that we’ve never lived in the same city, I think we’ve stayed close friends and I’m looking forward to our relationship growing. What I value most about our relationship is that she’s always up for anything, and she’s always someone I can count on when she gives her word that she’s going to do something. If we lived in the same city, I think we’d probably do a lot of snowboarding and surfing together and probably be really great friends. Thank you Niki — I’ve learned a lot from you about confidence, being yourself, and being down to earth.

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In honour of these wonderful women, I’m doing a fantastic giveaway on my blog to Kim’s studio, Moksha Yoga Vancouver which is an amazing hot yoga studio here in Vancouver.

MOKSHA YOGA VANCOUVER YOGA GIVEAWAY CONTEST

About the Studio: Moksha Yoga Vancouver is a hot yoga studio that Kim personally manages to make sure that it is run with integrity, energy, responsibility towards the environment, and kindness. She even teaches. She’s got some great instructors and classes and also a charity volunteer program that really gives back to the community. It’s located in Jericho Village at 4th and Alma and is one of the few dedicated hot yoga studios in Vancouver. They offer beginner-friendly classes that practice on a bamboo floor with infra-red heat panels at 38 degrees. Some classes are offered by donation and student rates too. Oh yeah — and if you go for their morning classes you get freshly baked muffins and scones. Yum! You can follow them on Twitter here.

What you’re playing for: A 30-day (one month) all access yoga pass to MYV.. enough yoga to get you all fit for the summer!
What you have to do: Leave a comment on this blog post by Sunday, May 9th at 10:00 PM PST, and then check back on Monday to see who won.

Good luck, and thanks for reading!

Update: May 10th, 2010: Congratulations to Comment #4… Nolwenn! I’ve drawn you as the random winner for the contest for one free month of yoga courtesy of Moksha Yoga Vancouver!

Now that the US election is over, I can safely navigate blog territory without getting involved.

I promise I won’t make too many more touchy feely posts like this in the future. I just can’t shut up any longer. More snowboarding and surfing coming right up after this!

Lately I’ve been talking to a lot my girl friends, and a lot of my guy friend’s girlfriends, and girls in general… and I’ve come to the conclusion that there are some girls out there that have no clue how to handle a man! Why all of this is happening all at once in November, I don’t know… it must be the season. (BTW this is not about any of my friends in particular, just a general observation so don’t take it personally!)

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Dear Ladies,

I’m not a feminist. I’m not a relationship expert or a serial dater, but I do know how to treat my man right! Let me talk about the five stages I believe are important to a relationship: Looking Inward, Attraction, Maintenance, Making it Better, and Knowing When to Let It Go. I apologize in advance for my bitchy tone, but there’s no other way for me to get my point across succinctly.

Looking Inward

Before you can start looking for someone right for you, you need to know yourself. It sounds cliché , but it’s true. Write yourself a list of the top 10 things you want in a guy. Even Oprah says it is true… if you write yourself a list, you’ll be looking for the right things since they are foremost in your mind, not the wrong things.

For example, my list is: Can hold an intelligent conversation, has a belly, is hairy, is passionate about outdoor sports, watches the Canucks, has a good job that allows him to have free time, is taller than me, has a tough exterior but is incredibly sweet inside, can make me laugh, and is completely spontaneous.

Attraction

There have been countless articles and books written on this, so I’m not going to bother with this stage too much. It’s simple: Look your best, be yourself, and ASK HIM QUESTIONS. Be interested in his interests. Stop talking about yourself too much. Also: Being a feminist and trying to be in his face probably won’t net you a great guy. Surprise! Most guys don’t want a girl that can kick his ass physically or mentally. And finally, do things that you love often (e.g. snowboarding, surfing, etc) and you’ll likely meet someone great who is into what you’re into.

Maintenance

This is the part where most girls I know fail miserably. You got a great guy, but you’re losing him. You’ve probably beat him up emotionally, pushed him away, or lost his interest within 6 months – 2 years or so.

This is the hardest part.

First, maintain yourself. Just because you’re in a happy relationship doesn’t mean you should stop dressing up or cancelling your Brazilian waxes. Keep it up. Stay sexy. Stay hairless. Stay active. Keep your man happy.

Don’t stop doing the things you love. Keep going to the mountains together, going on photo walks, going to the library together, eating out.. whatever you did when you first met that made you so passionate in the first place. There’s nothing worse than going home after work every day and doing the same old thing every night.

Be fun. No one wants to be with someone who never smiles, laughs, or acts crazy once in a while.

Hang out with his friends and family, and invite him to be around yours. No one likes a hermit… his friends won’t respect you if you imprison your man, and everyone has more fun with more people around. And you’ll feel a lot more involved in each other’s lives.

DO NOT beat your man down. I don’t understand why SO MANY women don’t get this. If you yell at him in front of his friends, if you yell and nag at him at home, if you tell him what to do and keep him from doing the things that he loves, then you will never be in a happy relationship. Ever. Don’t do these things. RESIST THE IRRESISTIBLE URGE. Even if he deserves it. Reward him for the things he does well and be understanding if he screws up. You’ll both be happier.

Which brings me to my final Maintenance point.

I strongly believe, in my narrow-minded very opinionated point of view (feel free to rip me a new one if you like), that men and women have very specific, important roles to play in a happy relationship. And deviating from this can cause big problems. Let me elaborate. I think men need to act manly and more dominant, and women need to be slightly more submissive and womanly. If you try to mold your man into some touchy feely soft girly man, you will not be happy. It may seem like a good idea at the time. But — I guarantee you will miss his confidence and manliness and will probably eventually look elsewhere for that. Let him lift the heavy boxes and open the door for you. Let him feel strong and useful, like he is. But cook him a meal now and then and please him sexually when he asks. This may seem super traditional and backwards looking, but it really works. I have seen so many successful happy relationships last decades and lifetimes because of this philosophy.

Making It Better

Hurray! You’ve made it to the next stage. Let’s talk about some bonus things that will help.

Surprise him. Get sexy lingerie, give him a lap dance every once in a while, bring him a little gift home, bring him a beer on the couch when he is watching TV, plan an exciting trip, or tell him something that you love about him that he hasn’t heard before. It never fails to amaze me how many women forget to keep their relationship exciting.

Make sure he knows you find him sexy. So many men start to look to other women outside of their relationship because their girl makes him feel incompetent and inadequate. A lot of guys get a buzz when other women flirt with them because it boosts their self-esteem. If you are crushing his self-esteem, he’s going to cheat or find someone else who gives him that buzz. Find things about him that you love and remind him; tell him he’s big, strong, funny, talented etc etc. But make sure you’re being honest, and not embellishing things you don’t think are true. Make sure you’re the one to give him that buzz.

Be useful. So many women fall into the trap of being lazy in a relationship. I’ve definitely fallen into that trap and I vow never to again. Help out with the housework, fold his clothes every once in a while. Don’t be his maid, but help out when you can. Learn to cook. I can’t tell you how much cooking in a relationship can help it. Make things from scratch that are more delicious than the restaurants you go to. Try new recipes and experiment. Use good, local, healthy, organic ingredients and cook frequently for him. Sometimes surprise him, and sometimes just plan it out with him and enjoy grocery shopping together. But don’t be too much of a food nazi. Grill a nice big fatty steak with a garlic butter topping every once in a while

Talk. I mean really talk. If you love each other and find each other interesting, this shouldn’t be hard. If it is, then you have a problem that is not easily solved. If something is wrong, you need to talk about it. Never go to bed upset. Don’t overdo it though. You don’t need to talk all the time. And try not to complain all the time. So many girls see talking as complaining. It’s not. It’s a mutual discussion of mutual interests.

Knowing When To Let It Go

Things don’t always work out perfectly. If they don’t, don’t draw it out. You’re not going to be single forever. The worst thing you can do is try to draw out a bad relationship because you’re afraid of being alone. If you can’t talk to him, if he can’t talk to you, if you don’t feel like being sexy for him, if neither one of you feels like surprising each other, and if you’ve beaten down your man to the point where he can’t feel or act like a man anymore……. well, that’s when you call it quits.

So ladies — finally, in conclusion… Please. Stop beating down your man!

Sincerely,

VancityAllie

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Go ahead, have at me.